Screw Nutrisystem. I'll eat your baby!
The White Sox have a handshake-and-cheese-fries deal with Bartolo Colon, a 35-year-old pitcher who’s two Arby’s melts away from a stint on the 60-day disabled list.
It’s -15 degrees in the WiHi.
Good times. Good. Times.
No balls. None.
There are pitchers who rise to the occasion. There are pitchers who welcome pressure into their arms and then pin it to the ground in a sleeper hold. There are pitchers who kick their games up a notch when the stage gets bigger and the spotlight burns brighter and hotter.
Javier Vazquez is not one of those pitchers.
Stop smiling, Braves fans. This capper’s going to break your collective hearts. He’ll have the best pure stuff in your rotation. He’ll strike out 220 guys. He’ll make the ball jump and dive and flutter and dance.
He’ll also wet himself in the middle of a pennant race. Good luck with that. Oh. And did we mention Boone Logan is a human batting tee?
